Love and Hate… My 51 years living in the “Fillmoe”
- POORMAG
- 14 hours ago
- 9 min read
By Queennandi
I was born in the Western Addition aka Fillmoe in the early 70’s, and my spirit has been residing here ever since. In the earlier years it was a beautifully diverse community with Asian, African, Filipino, Latina and Pacific Islander families, with a few sprinkles of European immigrants. The community got along well amongst those who called Fillmore home.
There were no “gentrifuhkers” riding on electric bikes, joggers in designer workout clothes, looking at us “Fillmore Natives” like WE don’t belong, but best yet, we had the “Artery of community Education,” Marcus Bookstore. Fast forward several decades later, the “gentrifuhkers” have succeeded in creating a “paradise for parasites,” and in a blink of an eye our community’s historical murals were painted over as if we, the people darker than blue, had never existed, and Marcus Bookstore—the best learning institution for the people—was destroyed and the family was displaced by a insignificant hair salon that serves red wine.
SF housing eventually was overrun by wealthy “devilopers ” who put their “dead souls” dollars into the community, but not into the interests of the people. The forced removal of our learning institution—Marcus Bookstore—was a fatal blow to our community of color because the lack of concise information and knowledge. Ourselves and our youngins began to glue our faces to the social media BS, and now many folks have chosen the “ratchet reality shows and how to snatch a $300 wig off of someone in 10 seconds!” as a doomed form of education.
My birthplace, Plaza East in Fillmore, is now owned by John Stewart. At first, some folks displayed a glimmer of hope that our living conditions would improve, but unfortunately that is not the case. After I had endured black mold, carpets that has been proven to be a contributor to asthma and other allergies, so-called gangster office management forced me to move out of an apartment in 15 more minutes before throwing away my property—some priceless items also—and made a mockery of my age and disabilities and depression. I had reached my breaking point then! The only thing that improved was that the ratchet so-called gangster office management was replaced because some residents were violated by these 3 women so horribly to the point that there would have been some serious fighting going on at Plaza East.
Many of us were at our breaking point at this particular time like I mentioned before, but my nightmare was far from over.
My family has been and still is being harassed, stalked, car vandalized and our safety put in jeopardy by a squatter who has a boyfriend whom lives at Plaza East and she, Ms. S. Smith, comes over and raises hell with the community by starting fights with not just my family but other residents have been assaulted by this woman. My family’s attempt to get a protection order failed because a few residents continue to hide her in their apartments from the law. Police reports are useless to us and JS company is not even entertaining the idea to place a stay away order against Ms. Smith, and even though her boyfriend’s house was raided and several guns recovered by police AND KRON news did a story on it, a slap on the wrist basically is what these folks got along with other trouble makers that reside at Plaza East.
Trouble makers like GR, a neighbor from hell who destroyed my zen garden and allows her dogs to come outside every morning around 8am to attack passersbys and young children, AND runs a raggedy daycare on the property. Despite my five year restraining order against her and her violations on the grounds, Ms. GH didn’t so much as receive a lease violation. Animal control was a joke also because her dogs are still being let outside every day to bite and bother people. Ms. LB, another hellraiser at Plaza East was rewarded with a brand new apartment here after she had committed “set up” robberies in which a relative of mine was a victim also and she would lie to her gun-toting relatives that she was afraid (of retribution) some of us residents here.
Around May 14th of 2023, Ms. LB had once again called over gun-toting relatives based upon lies, and while I was parking my car, Ms. LB’s “cousin” was walking up on a group of females, including myself, my children, my disabled neighbor and other innocents and attempted to shoot all of us on the block.
Then out of the blue, a youngster who is not known to be a “hood terrorist” had pulled a “quick draw McGraw” and saved our lives and at that very moment I had to unblur the lines between “hood terrorist” and “hood hero,” because regardless of how I felt about violence in the community, this young man, Mr. KH, had prevented a massacre of elders, children and disabled residents. Ms. LB was never held responsible for telling lies to incite violence nor was she held liable for being an accessory after the fact. After hiding in a rabbit hole for a short while she was given a fresh new apartment at Plaza East in the same complex. I guess it’s safe to say that “hood terrorist” have more privileges and entitlement to even have good community folks injured or killed because they are well aware of their immunity on John Stewart property. The recent loss of my firstborn daughter-and another young man who was murdered in Larch alley has my PTSD so high that my trauma is not even located on earth anymore! And John Stewart security was a big cartoon joke, failing to protect the residents and following proper procedures. The woman, S. Smith, is still allowed to this day to stalk and follow my family because she has a “boyfriend” living on Plaza East grounds. She even threatened to assault my 4-year old grandson and even with evidence stemming from a text, nobody gave a damn.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Ms. Smith was trying to coax myself and youngest daughter to come out of our apartment because her “homeboy” was waiting outside with a gun. At this point, my mental state was the color red so I attempted to defend my family by chasing them back across the street on Eddy with my puny little weapon (butter knife sword) but I was successful in getting the gunman and Ms. Smith away from my home but the heartbreaking fact is I had to teach my four year old grandson how to go upstairs in our home to hide whenever Ms. Shamiyah Smith was squatting at Plaza East. As I walked back to my home after running Ms. Smith and her gun-toting “homeboy” into her boyfriend’s house, a blinding red light flashed in my eyes with someone shouting “BITCH, DROP YOUR WEAPON OR I’LL BLOW YOUR FUHKIN HEAD OFF!” Comparing my “weapon” to the gunman’s was like comparing a teacup yorkie to a bull mastiff!
A passerby and two of my neighbors pleaded with this trigger-happy hankie-head John Stewart security guard not to shoot me which he yelled at them to go away. I did comply with his demands even though I felt like the SISTUH who got shot in Chicago by the police—by putting what was in my hand inside of my home, getting on my knees on my “welcome mat” and interlocking my fingers on my head. I was frozen with fear that turned into anger and then into a full-blown anxiety attack because this so called security guard at Plaza East was tempted to shoot me in the back while my 4-year old grandson was inside. I pleaded with the house negro to allow for me to SLOWLY reach into my right pants pocket to make phone call to my mental health specialist and again he said that he would blow my head off if I reached for my phone. My daughter was able to call on my behalf while the sellout uncle Ben bastard contacted SFPD. Perhaps there was a possibility that he was related to the “lying hood terrorist” Ms. LB because he had got on the line shouting as if he was auditioning for the TV show “cops”-
“I NEED BACKUP NOW! THERE IS A WOMAN WALKING AROUND THE WHOLE COMPLEX THREATENING TO HARM PEOPLE!”
But in reality it was a grandmother who was seeing red and fed up with a damn SQUATTER coming to my home with gunman like so many times before and I stood tall against them!
When SFPD arrived on the scene my panic/anxiety attacks were so devastating that I was handcuffed because I couldn’t function or stand still. The “bootlickin’” security guard went on to tell the officers all these lies about the incident to make himself look like a hero until an courageous angry neighbor had shouted out “WHILE YOU STANDING THERE LYING ON THE VILLAGE MOTHER TELL THE POLICE HOW YOU BE SNORTING COCAINE ON WILLOW STREET DURING YOUR BREAKS!!!” I didn’t know about the John Stewart/Plaza East security guard’s alleged drug use, however when that one neighbor spoke up, a few more were speaking up the next day.
The file of evidence my youngest daughter was saving for over a year was the proof that we were being terrorized and it contradicted the security guard’s statement, and one of the SFPD officers had given the guard the “uh oh, caught you in a lie” look while another officer had scolded the punk guard.- The officer asked “WHAT IS THE PROCEDURE WHEN DEALING WITH CITIZENS WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES OR SEEING RED?!?!” After the security guard’s “Abba dabba boo boo huh?” Response the officer said “YOU NEED TO BE INVESTIGATED BECAUSE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DE-ESCALATE THE SITUATION, NOT THREATEN TO BLOW THEIR HEADS OFF!!!!” After the officers has assisted me to catch my breath from all the attacks, one officer asked “Ma’am, were we able to help regarding this incident?” Four words I don’t remember ever in my life saying, but you give credit when credit is due- I answered “SFPD SAVED MY LIFE!” That security guard still had his gun pointed towards my back even when I was on my knees with interlocked fingers by the time the police arrived and I was terrified that he was going to shoot me with my grandson in the house. He dared me to make any moves or he would shoot me, so my traumatized mind focused on my 4 year old grandbaby and not wanting him to see his grandmother get shot dead by some security koon!
THE AFTERMATH???
The security guard was still working at Plaza East and IF I stepped out of my home and saw him, I would run back inside screaming to him not to shoot me! Management on the grounds had refused to give me any information on this security clown, not even his name.
Former Mayor London Breed even put in a request for an urgent emergency move to help keep my family safe, but unfortunately for me, the only John Stewart units that were available were the ones that Ms. Smith and her goon friends and family were either residing or squatting at, except for the North Beach housing complex—in which I was flat out denied to relocate there. I went to the corporate headquarters of John Stewart in hopes that someone could help me, but once my words went in their ears, they farted it out of their asses! John Stewart can put our family in a safe home, in a safe environment if he dared cared.
Finding an attorney to help my family was fruitless because in my opinion COURAGE is extinct also! I’m still here in Fillmore surviving by default. I survived all kinds of horrific trauma and I even stood tall against “The night stalker” Richard Ramirez as a child when he tried to get me to go into the women’s bathroom. My longtime friend, Terry had survived the “nigger get out!” notes and the house fire that displaced his family. We at Plaza East survived the begging and pleading to put a security gate up so “hood terrorist” would stop walking into Larch Way alley, ambushing and killing our youngins on camera! We are all survivors!
Like I said before, I was BORN HERE in this community but having to tolerate “gentrifuhkin’ racist kkk implants” and “hankie-head negro hood klan” has destroyed my mental health to the point of me being afraid to leave my home, to focus on business and in many cases it’s hell just to get out of bed.
No good folks in the community deserve this, but sadly we are living in BABYLON where the wicked can roam freely to kill, steal and destroy with impunity… You ask: “who is this native “Fillmolian” that broke her silence?”
My Name is Queennandi….
CRDB
Village Mother from Fill-no-mo….
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