I was determined to run my life

Tiny - Posted on 26 April 2015

"You can make lots of money.” At this moment the skies opened up and I heard every T crossed and I dotted. His mask of deception seemed almost kind and sincere.

Bam. Suddenly the dreary clouds were in my midst. There was no air. I had fell prey to the ugliest of greed. I was kidnapped, trapped, and freedom suddenly had a price. Every night was his delight.

A room with no doors. Here I was kidnapped at the age of 28 in Richmond, CA. not against my will but voluntarily and willingly.

It was one of those things, believing in his dream. I was an opportunist and when he laid his sales pitch I actually believed that moving in with his wife and kids, we /I could live “happily ever after.”

It sounded great the way he explained things to me.

"You can work the night time as the bartender and my wife will work the day time as a bank teller.” He was so convincing.

Days became weeks. The absence of home became overwhelming and besides, there was no love here. It became apparent love did not live here.

Up the dark unfamiliar stairs, on a typical night “on the job,” me and my pimp knock on a small door. The door is opened,

I see darkness and silhouettes of frail bodies shuffling from one dark room to another, there was no light.

"Go in there.” We then are directed to a room where he could begin his pitiful high, as I sat and watched, hoping he would immediately run out of money then we can go home. Thats only if no one come by and owes him a free high. My fingers stayed crossed. Usually by 3am we were free to go.

It was the same every night. He taking my money after work, dragging me around to all his local dope dispensaries, me usually finding him in a sweat of a nod at someones table, them always strangers to me .

Then there came a day when I woke like a slap in my face my consciousness of who I was, who I represent. From the blood of my elders I am that black woman that I am.

"You need to come get me.” One day I woke up and decided to leave. I set up a dramatic exodus using my brother. I called him one morning when I was being guarded by the pimp and the pit bull he used to keep me imprisoned. it was one of those morning he had to go out and get his fix. I called my brother I cave him a innocent role. Not letting him know that I was being held no longer of my choice, I ran down the address and the pitch that would free me.

When I got my butt out that door and was sitting in that car I could see the sky. Because I am a revolutionary and will not be contained.

I had to find my way out. It wasn't that I was out of state and not too far from my family but I had to make sure that I didn't get my family involved in my bullshit. I would never forgive myself if they were harmed because of my ill choices.

This time in my life, being the outlaw that I have always been, I was a renegade prostitute. The thought of a pimp controlling my body and my money was disgraceful. I was determined to run my life.


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