To Weep or Not to Weep


Lola Bean - Posted on 21 February 2011

To Weep or Not to Weep

"Aw,go on ahead now, child, and just cry..."

--This voice--rumbling up from the depths of conscientious self-being
Crumbled the last vestige of self control
And the reins/rains were loosed
And the claws, no longer bared
The steel trap entrance to the innermost soul
Scathingly, screechingly smidged open one big eency bit
Which produced another         which produced another       which produced
...almost more painful than that act
of holding back.
Allowing the wrenching of the floodwake upward
Salty pools,ebbing high, to ease over the
Lip of the lower eyelids
Sloshing overboard in twos and threes
Carving roadways of rivulets down
The countryside of cheek, burrowing
Alongside the hillside of nose, careening
Over the upper side of lip
Gravity dictating their shiny, wet course to
Face the face
Droplets splashing wham! zam! wherever they may land, below...

The shoulders, the back
Joined at the neck in this
Symphony of sadness
From distraught to distressed to
disdain to despair--their chambers
Mutually echoing the havoc that had been held captive
Detained by sheer willpower
Now, to only disincline the effort to strain
Against, and release the pain
ALL AT ONCE
A mammoth wrenching
erupting from inner burial grounds
Bringing with it a fury
a heretofore unknown
Barrage of melancholia
Some of it for others
Most of it for one's own sorry self.
"How I'm gonna miss you..."
Is laced within this song of sorrow

After clenching all this
With the fierce, self-imposed
Death grip to deny its release
It finally explodes! Deploying
the bucketful of aquatic agony
the terrified sobs of the otherwise
unexpressed, tortuous,
anguished agony
Finally exonerated with the flush and roar of upsurging tears
At Long Last
because of that voice
That Voice, bearing the undeniable flavor of truth
Made itself known
From within and yet, from afar...saying
"Aw, go on ahead, now, child, and just cry.

January 31st, 2011

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