Airdnd Exclusive: Interview with Brian's Couch


PNNscholar1 - Posted on 05 February 2016

Author: 
Tony Robles

I recently read an article about Airdnd (dnd=death ‘n displacement) CEO Brian “C” recently.  If you don’t know, Brian “C” is founder of Airdnd, part of a number of related businesses making up a cartel that uses the moniker “The sharing economy”.  Brian “C’s” brainchild, Airdnd, is a hosting platform where you can turn your room, house or building into a hotel on a supposed short term basis.  The problem is that people are renting out entire homes and buildings, contributing to an affordability and eviction crisis plaguing many cities.  This business model is a violation of the zoning laws here in San Francisco.   In response, San Francisco passed a law that would regulate short term rentals (Str’s), putting limits on the number of days one could offer a room and requiring those who engage in this practice to register with the city.  Of the many thousands of short term rentals being offered in San Francisco, less than 400 “hosts” have registered with the city. Airdnd refuses to divulge information on their hosts so it’s almost impossible to get an accurate number on how many are engaging in short term rentals.  This situation has put the city in a continuous loop in an effort to get Airdnd to get its s**t together and stop playing ring around the Rosie.

 

Brian “C”, at the helm of a corporation that takes in billions of dollars yet pays no taxes, is a modern day P.T. Barnum—clean, pressed and tech washed—the internet providing app-based absolution (ie: no accountability) for the havoc his so-called clever business model has caused.  According to the article, Brian still inhabits the place where it all started, his apartment, a slick version of the Hewlett Packard garage, offering his couch for $50 a night to allow visitors the pseudo religious experience of a white couch, framed by white walls--a couch with a sleek slickness that Brian--The Reverend Ikea himself--envisions as a homage to his business core value—belonging—a mantra hatched from the Airdnd syntax suites by lawyers, lobbyists and politicians, often repeated in annoying commercials and marketing materials complete with yuppies, babies and suitcases; but in reality, has seeded a sense of not belonging in this city for thousands who lived here before the arrival of the modern day P.T. Barnum/Reverend Ikea.  I recently came across something called AIRBNE, which allows access to people’s homes (illegally of course, following the Airdnd model).  It was through AIRBNE that I secured an interview with Brian’s couch.  It was white, sleek and looked as though nobody had sat on it.  The couch had much to say.

 

TR: How do you like living at the home where Airdnd started?

Couch: I feel neglected

TR: Really, don’t you feel like you belong?

Couch: Hardly

TR: Explain

Couch: I’m tired of accommodating everybody’s ass.  How would you like to be sat on?  And the vapid conversations about wine, cheese and Brian.  The conversations don’t make a dent.  It’s enough to make you want to jump out of a window.  In fact, I already tried.

TR: But you seem sturdy enough to handle things

Couch: looks are deceiving.  I was ok ‘til I got kidnapped.  I could have gone home with a family that would appreciate me.  I’d be part of the family.  I’d of course have to deal with the occasional tortilla chips in the cushion and a stain here and there, but no biggie.  But then Brian comes around, The Reverend Ikea himself.  I’m not myself anymore.  This place looks like nobody belongs in it.  He’s worth billions and he’s pimping me out for $50 a throw.  It’s enough to make you puke.

TR: that’s tough

Couch: And these fools that make the pilgrimage here act as if it were a shrine, the Taj Mahoe

TR: Don’t you mean Taj Majal?

Coach: Call it what you want but it’s pimp central, plain and simple.

TR: how do you keep your sanity?

Coach: I don’t

TR: Any other thoughts?

Coach: yeah…I got to give it to this cat Brian.  A housing tech pimp empire is what he’s created. Pimping everything that ain’t nailed down—the mayor, the supes, the commissions—soon he’ll be charging $75 to crap in his toilet, $100 to camp in the fire escape, which reminds me, how did you get in here?

TR: Illegally, with an app

Coach: Oh, then that’s ok

TR: Any last words?

Coach: this guy, through his so-called clever idea has taken thousands of rental units off the market.  Lots of rent controlled units.  And folks are doing this s**t illegally.  You got realtors and landlords in on this scam, using it as a business model.  A whole lot of ‘em live out of state too.  And they get away with this stuff.  Not a peep from good old Brian though.  You got to be gentle with him as he is a sensitive soul.  “Come, come now Brian, do the right thing now…pretty please with artificial sweetener on top.  You have to nudge him, without a night stick—mind you.  The rest of us that do wrong, they just shoot, but you can’t do that with Brian.  He has a mute button inside him.  Not a sound but lots of fallout.

TR: A tech pimp?

Coach: A modern day P.T. Barnum

 

© 2016 Tony Robles

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